he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
40s are totally the cure
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
