I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
