So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
