Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
