I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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