My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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