Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
