I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
