Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm always down for nudity.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
