The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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