A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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