Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Boobs are out for the taking
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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