Sry I called you an 8
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
