it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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