why didn't you poke me back
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
