party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
