Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
