Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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