I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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