after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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