girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
