Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
