Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

Fav 10 940 1888
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(248): View more from Michigan

What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

Fav 15 2644 1245
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(330): View more from Ohio

If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent

Fav 6 706 1480
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(651): View more from Minnesota

First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

Fav 4 1000 667
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...

Fav 1 611 848
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(718): View more from New York

Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

Fav 4 759 526
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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

Fav 0 827 477
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(912): View more from Georgia

He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.

Fav 0 52 8
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party

Fav 0 109 24
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