Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
