Non-Jews are for practice
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
