just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This girl is more easily done than said...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
