I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
