I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize