he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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