last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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