the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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