he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
