i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
