A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
