dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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