You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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