I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just invented taco cereal.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
