It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
