And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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