So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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