Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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