there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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