Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
