I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
