i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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