So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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