I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
id be glad to
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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