I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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