Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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