I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
