how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
