How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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