remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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