So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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