Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
