how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
