Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
