Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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