bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
