Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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